Move your living room furniture often. If you let it stay in one place for any length of time, couches and chairs will plan evil plots against you.

Your driveway is a sacred place. It is bad luck to let a strange car occupy your sacred place.

Never confront a cockroach with a suspicious expression. If they scurry away, you will know it was your expression that has caused their flight.

When driving away negative energies, make them buckle up in the back seat while you chant, "I want to be judged for my unseen intentions." Your problems will soon disappear.

Always keep your pockets free of any flavor pudding.

Rude and abusive people are easy to spot. They most often have a complete lack of manners.