How can anyone expect to have an original thought? We're all reproductions.

Last week, Earthlink reported that a man drowned in a moat while fleeing security at Missouri casino. I swear, you couldn't write this stuff.

I was advised to give myself frequent reality checks. I have a feeling that I'm already overdrawn.

My boss says it's hard to be grouchy around someone who's up and smiling. Watch me.

He who laughs last is pretty damn slow at getting the joke.

Volunteering, sharing, or caring for a friend or family member not only lifts their spirits and yours, but it gives you freer access to their valuables.

After decades of cooking, mopping, scouring and dusting...I've decided to throw in the towel.

I'm a loner, yet I suspect a self-help group would be beneficial. I've decided to start my own group: I'm my own fault; recovery for one.

I've done some spring cleaning in my mind. Once uncluttered, I found a nearly-new, barely-used entertainment center. Yes, if I pay attention, I am my own Internet of lunacy and there's no cable fee.

The next time you feel embarrased for doing something foolish in public...do a little waltz, twirl, lift your arms and yell, "TA-DAH!"

I purchased some wall hangings at Bed, Bath and Beyond yesterday. They are beautifully framed earthtone designs with inspirational scriptures. Love, Faith and Believe were price marked at $20.00 each. Patience, was marked down to $9.99. I asked the clerk if it is because no one wants patience. She smiled and rolled her eyes, "Duh, hellooo, we're in California."

I occasionally have episodes of free-floating intelligence, but not as often as I'd like.

When I entered the lobby of my new attorney's office, the sign on the door stopped me cold. It read, Law offices of Grin and Barrett. I looked down the hall to see a new doctor's office as well. Lo and Behold, specializing in cosmetic surgery, will be opening soon.

My psychic said I had a tear in my aura. It must have happened when I caught my heel in it.