Every good cook knows you have to tie one on before you begin cooking...an apron, that is.

Enjoying the holiday season? Too bad. I like to start off with a good reason to brood. Like how rich people can walk into a store and buy anything...any silly thing...any crazy, impulsive, totally impractical thing...just because they feel like it...and they don't even ask how much it costs.

Enjoying the holiday season? How selfish of you. Poor people stand outside store windows with their nose pressed up against the glass, wondering if they will ever eat again. Now are you enjoying the holiday season?

First date tip: When he/she says, "tell me about your past, don't hold anything back." Be sure to change the subject.

I hate paying through the nose when there's hell to pay.

I am an expert lecturer in the subtle art of success-prevention strategies.

Beware of the dreaded, Auld Langxiety. That's that ugly feeling you have on New Year's day, when you can't remember what you did the night before.