Do you ever wish that you could drink enough triple-shot espresso's, that your head would blow up and a happier life would pop out of your face? Me either.

When I remember that a twenty-six-year-old patent office clerk formulated the theory of relativity, I never want to be realistic again.

In the checkout line at the supermarket, I like to pretend I am passing through Customs and I have an undeclared item in my cart.

I never thought I would admit this, but I have secret romantic feelings for Danny DeVito.

Sometimes, when I'm walking through the park, I fear that really thin bears are hiding behind the trees or that squirrels will drop twigs that will lodge in my scalp.

Did you know, there is no safe seat on a plane?