This morning, I observed a woman weaving maniacally in my spinning class.

My mother suffered from an inoperable hernia for many years. If she had agreed to have it corrected, she couldn't complain about it anymore.

I overheard a group of young women referring to crack as a mood brightener.

Isn't it strange? A boxing ring is square, and the sport is measured in rounds.

You don't have to go to a cosmetic surgeon to have collagen injected into your lips. You can get the same results by pressing the vacuum hose to your mouth.

When applying my make up each morning, I feel as if I'm commiting cosmetic perjury.

Milton Bradley has come up with an exciting new game for procrastinators. It's called, Wait 'n See.

I've suffered more over answered prayers than unanswered ones. I guess you can't get too specific for God.

When you think about it, free advice costs more than most people want to pay.

Why drive five miles to exercise at the gym when you can avoid it right at home?

Most of my friends are excellent bookkeepers. That's why I don't loan them out anymore.

I almost wrote a magnificent book, but I caught it just in time.