I bought a subliminal tape to play while I sleep. It's a comprehensive workshop in effective snoring.

If you go to the gas station and pay seventy-five cents to start up that air machine that puts air in your tires, and it takes three minutes to check the pressure for each tire, why does it shut off after nine minutes? Hey, what's up with that?

I recorded the sound of my dentist's drill. I play it for unwanted visitors.

I have a bad habit of sweating the details. It takes really big pores.

They say that thoughts become thingys. I'm going to start ignoring my thoughts and maybe some of these thingys will go away.