If I were me, I would do a bunch of things a whole lot differently.

C.O.W. = Can of Worms. Hence...don't have a cow.

Never walk down a flight of stairs with your hands in your pockets. The first time you trip, you'll know why.

I want to marry an undertaker. He's seen so many hideous things, nothing scares him anymore.

What was the point of the movie, Thelma and Louise? That women are bad drivers?